It’s December, an’ lemme tell yinz what, that means Bricolage Production Company’s holiday Midnight Radio is crawlin’ ahtta the woodwork again, n’at — this year doin’ up a whole jagoff-y spoof of National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, turned into a big ol’ comedy present duct-taped together speshly fer Picksburgh. They’re callin’ it Christmas Vacatyinz, ‘cause of course they are.**

Tami Dixon — God love ‘er — took that National Lampoon flick ‘bout some middle-aged jag tryin’ to give his fam-a-lee a perfect old-fashioned Christmas an’ turned it into a whole radio play, movin’ everythin’ ahtta Chicago an’ smack-dab inta Greenfilld, where the smell of “Pine-Sol an’ rotten eggs” is basically “Christmas in the Mon Valley,” honestta God. As per usual, they’re squeezin’ every last drop of comedy gravy outta pokin’ gentle fun at the local lingo and all our lil’ Pittsburgh quirks, customs, and goin’-ons (yinz better believe parking chairs get a shoutout, along with the lil’ bridge under the big bridge, pierogies, an’ the whole jag). And the best part’s watchin’ the crew — Tami Dixon, Patrick Jordan, Dave Mansueto, Jason McCune, an’ Jaime Slavinsky, plus Camille Rolla bangin’ on the keys — makin’ all the sound effects right there onstage with their bare hands like a buncha maniacs.

Jordan’s playin’ Clark “Sparky” Jizzwold, the dad who’s bound and determined to go way overboard on every single jaggin’ part of Christmas. Drives too far lookin’ fer a tree, buys one the size’a the Cathedral’a Lernin’, slaps 84-bajillion lights on the haas like it’s Kennywood Light-Up Night times twelve, invites way too much family, and puts way too much grease on his sled — honest to God, the list goes on, n’at. Naturally, all his big plans go straight inta the crick.

The rest of the gang’s playin’ everybody else — the wife Ellen (Dixon), kids Audrey (Slavinsky) an’ Rusty (McCune), an’ brother-in-law Eddie (Mansueto), the whole nebby crew. It’s mostly all talkin’ an’ sounds, ‘cept sometimes they flail around a lil’ bit to make the noises land better (Jeffrey Carpenter’s directin’ the whole shebang).

If yinz seen the original movie, yinz can prolly picture the scenes in yer heads — like when Clark lights up the haas so hard he knocks aht power to half-a Allegheny County. If yinz ain’t seen it or don’t remember squat, yinz might even like this version better. Honest-ta-God, it’s way less cringe imaginin’ Sparky sleddin’ clean across the Parkway an’ shootin’ inta the Mon than actually sittin’ through it on a screen somewhere in the Waterfront.

At one point Clark goes, “Nobody’s escapin’ this fun old-fashioned Christmas,” an’ buddy, when the performers are havin’ this much fun and sharin’ it with yinz, why would anybody wanna?

** And with it comes a return of this here Pittsburghese translation of my post, courtesy of ChatGPT — yinz’re welcome.

The hap-hap-happiest Christmas n’nat – a review of “Midnight Radio’s Christmas Vaca-Yinz”

By Michael Buzzelli

Clark (Patrick Jordan), Ellen (Tami Dixon), and their kids, Rusty (Jason McCune) and Audrey (Jamie Slavinsky), are planning the perfect holiday in “Midnight Radio Lampoons Christmas Vaca-Yinz,” a Midnight Radio parody of “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.”

The family – and we won’t spoil their crude last name, but it’s not exactly spelled Griswold in this adaptation –  is joined by a slew of relatives (all played by Dave Masueto and the aforementioned actors above – only Jordan has a solo role, which he does with aplomb).

All the film’s best sequences are here: the oversized Christmas tree, the super slick sled ride, the….deposits from Cousin Eddie’s RV, the world’s driest turkey, the moose cups, the fricasseed pussy cat, the squirrel, and more.

There’s even a parody version of “Holiday Road,” which is delightful. Music Director Camille Rolla beautifully and hilariously renders this version.

How do you lampoon the National Lampoon? Easy call Tami Dixon to get the job done. The actor also adapted the film into a Midnight Radio show with a decidedly Yinzer flair.

Note: Midnight Radio is not shown at midnight, nor is it on the radio, but it has become a holiday tradition (Midnight Radio has skewered other Christmas cinematic favorites such as “Die Hard,” “A Christmas Carol,” and “A Christmas Story”).

The evening is clearly suited for people familiar with the film, but it’s easy to follow along. Audiences who have never seen the movie might miss one or two of the jokes (because the previous visual components are missing), but there are plenty of laughs that don’t require homework.

Jordan’s rant as Clark in the final act is off the chain. He embellishes the rant with a list of hilarious epithets; a string of nonsense words that – when joined together – surpass anything that Chevy Chase could have ever concocted, let alone said aloud. It contains all the usual hits, such as “cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit, ” and builds from there.

Dixon is marvelous, especially as Aunt Bethany, playing sweet, vulnerable, and clearly cuckoo!

Slavinsky goes full Yinzer in several parts of the performance, and it’s magnificent n’nat.

McCune and Masueto garner plenty of laughs as well.

All of the actors double as foley artists, creating raucous, rollicking special effects with the help of sound engineer Brendan Kepple.

Lighting designer Forrest Trimble keeps everything festive. He, literally and figuratively, shines when Clark plugs in the extension cord.

Director Jeffrey Carpenter leans into his cast’s natural talents. Letting Jordan be Jordan and giving the cast the freedom to go as wild as they want. The result is uproarious.

There’s a lot of crude and scatological humor, but if you’ve seen the original movie, you’re most likely aware that it’s coming. See: Cousin Eddie’s most famous line is a prime example.

Instead of watching the same old movies on TV, come out and see one of those Christmas perennials live and in person, or see the film and the Midnight Radio show.

Signing off in 3…2….1.

-MB

“Midnight Radio’s Christmas Vaca-Yinz” runs until December 21 on the Bingo O’Malley Stage at barebones productions, 1211 Braddock Avenue, Braddock, PA 15104. For tickets and additional information, click here.